Judges are fools for the Holy Grail ... of steak

Answer: a country cook off which, surprisingly for MasterChef, results in cuddles, not crying.

After ruining afternoon smoko, the red team have been banished to the edge of the Apple Isle for this week's elimination round.

Matt Preston says they have two choices now – to cook or pull on some Speedos and swim back to the mainland from the coastal town of Stanley.

While Gary asks Ben and co what they think Preston would look like sans cravat but squeezed into Budgie smugglers, he goes on to explain today's challenge will be three knockout rounds (and encourages Preston to keep his suit fastened).

Spunky sparkie Andy tunes out from the week-long "Tasmania, it's awesome" message and lets us in on a little secret, he's "hated Tassie". Meanwhile, Sam feels like a convict at "the end of the earth" as they approach Highfield House overlooking Bass Strait.

George takes the reins and pulls us back on brand, informing the cooking enthusiasts, who have struggled in the past to cook pasta, that they must now have a crack at a Scotch Fillet from Cape Grim.

The hungry judges want "the Holy Grail of steak" - the perfect slab of medium-rare beef.

The rules sound more confusing than the actual challenge which Gary explains in detail - "take a step back, raise your hand, say your name and we'll come and cut".

While the pans take an eternity to heat up in the arctic surrounds of Stanley, the olive oil and salt and pepper spill everywhere.

Home-town hero Ben doesn't want to stay on the island and has decided his caramelisation and resting method will come up trumps. Sam who has "cooked hundreds, if not thousands, of steaks" reckons he's also a shoe in.

Meanwhile, Dalvinder marinates her meat in oil after her bottle of extra virgin breaks off and Emma is probably crying, again.

The wind picks up as the meat "rests", which allows Tregan to fashion a "get me off this island" flying machine out of the metres of aluminium foil floating about, while George channels his inner Jack Nicholson from The Shining by waving around a steak knife, taunting "who's going to do it? Who's going first?"

Jules steps up and has successfully seared a piece of cow to perfection, Ben's next and it ain't good news. "I'm sorry Ben, your steak is medium," says George shaking his head. The bad news continues for Andy, "1000 steak" Sam and Kylie.

Round two is a cerebral and culinary challenge that may cause tears.

The judges want onion rings. Sam and Kylie have fried the tear-jerking vegetables before but Ben hasn't.

"You haven't lived if you've never tried onion rings," Preston yells over the gale force winds.

"We want crispness - no soggy, flaccid batter," George requests while thumbing through a thesaurus.

"I'm up against some stiff competition now," Andy adds.

Kylie serves up some "sweet onions", as does Ben with a tempura concoction.

Andy and Sam discover they are not the Lord of the Rings and are heading into the third and final round.

Meanwhile the victorious blue team are learning how to deconstruct a Southern Rock Lobster by 80s supergroup The B-52’s head chef Craig Will, eating medallions of the shellfish and toasting the red team.

Andy and Sam adjourn to the local pub, which despite being crowned one of Australia's best brassieres, looks like it hasn't had any beer, nor been patronised by the town's 458 strong population, since its doors opened in 1847.

While the boys enjoy a pint of squash and a flutter at the TAB, we take a trip down memory lane to discover Sam's love of cooking inspires him to talk in catch phrases, including, but not limited to, "happy days" and "let's make some magic happen". Andy, who loves being an electrician, "just wants to branch out".

"Tonight you cook for the people of Stanley," the boys learn looking around the empty streets.

The challenge?

Each chef must cook one dish for 50 people with four hours of prep and two hours of service.

As they digest the rules, the pantry is towed up the road by a cavalry of tractors.

"THIS is what we live for!" George squeals as the muddy carrots, ton of potatoes and trailers of other "fresh grub" is delivered.

The boys are encouraged to curb their blossoming bromance and cook like mortal enemies.

While Sam declares his love for crayfish and drops random French cooking terms into sentences, Andy just wants to cook something and put it on a plate.

Mensa can wait – this menu, and the mysteriously hungry locals, will not.

Andy decides on a beef cheek, potato fondant and green beans, while Andy decides to poach his lobster and smother potatoes in what looks like 100 kilograms of butter.

"Man, I've got some wicked peeler cramp," Andy says as George encourages the chefs to communicate in the kitchen.

As George asks rhetorical questions and adds "yeah" to the end of each of his sentences, the guests line up down the street and Sam considers "throwing in the towel, but my pride won't let me". Preston Googles the closest pizza chain for back up.

Thirty minutes later as George's blood pressure is peaking, service begins. The obligatory compliments are thrown about, but some diners wish for more cheek and a more well done cray after one is sent back for being undercooked.

Sam likens the experience to a footy match while the two chefs chat away like it's a CWA meeting until the final meals are served.

Judging from the judges reactions, this year's competition has found its strengths lay in simplicity.

Preston likens Andy's tender cheek to nirvana on a plate and praises Sam for his "spectacular" shellfish.

The challenge is deemed a tie. Blame it on the country air or the "unity in the kitchen", but both boys are staying this week.

Cue crying (not from Emma, surprisingly) and group hugs as they bid adieu to Van Diemen's land.